This Studio C video pretty much perfectly describes how a lot of my friends feel about being set up on blind dates. I’ve had a lot of requests to write another dating blog, so here is a little advice from a single person on how it feels to be set-up.
I’ve been set up a few times on dates. I think the first time someone tried to set me up I’d just returned home from my mission a few months earlier. I sang in my ward choir for the Christmas program and after it was over a girl came up to me and my mom. She said that her husband’s brother had served in the same country as I did on his mission, and she thought that we would really “hit it off.” I gave her my number and I waited for a phone call. It finally came about 3 months later. We eventually met up and hung out once or twice.
I grew up hearing people complain all the time about being set up on blind dates. I am a believer in set-ups and blind dates. I prefer them over online dating sites. I’ve been on some pretty fun blind dates. I’ve also been on a lot of really awkward ones, including one where we got into a fender bender in the first 5 minutes. Here are a few simple rules to remember before setting someone up:
1. Make sure that both parties are single and are interested in being set-up.
2. Sometimes double dates are a great way to introduce two people. This way they get to know each other, but if they are both not interested, they can lean on the person who set them up for things to talk about until they can get off the date.
3. Have the person that you give their phone number to call within a week, two tops, of when they get the other persons phone number.
4. Just because someone is single and female, that doesn’t mean that they are a perfect match for someone who is also single and male.
5. If you are given someone’s number, and they are told that you’ll get in touch with them, call them or text them.
6. If someone is trying to set you up with someone, and you are really not interested in being set up, tell them, or tell the person once they call you.
I have set quite a few people up on dates. I have even had one success story! Do you want to know what I told my friend before I set her up? “You have to meet this guy! He wears funny T-shirts and likes to use Twitter.” What can I say? Match made in heaven!
Lately as I’ve started hanging out with a lot of my married friends, their favorite thing to do is stop the conversation and say, “Hey everyone, let’s talk about Elysha for a few minutes. She’s still single, and we need to find someone for her to date.” I appreciate the gesture, I really do, but the last time this happened another girl said, “Hey I know a guy! He’s tall, divorced, and a little weird.”
I had a friend try to set me up with someone she knew a few years ago. Here is part of our conversation.
That was in 2014. He did get in contact with me, but after I found out that she had never actually met him, I decided that I didn’t feel comfortable with that and we never went out.
A few months ago I decided to throw a Murder Mystery dinner party at my house. If you are interested in hosting one or don’t know what that is I have a blog about that you can read here. I wasn’t sure who to invite, so I decided to go through all of my old Facebook Messages and see if I could find someone new to invite. I came across a message from *Scott. Scott was the guy my friend had tried to set me up with.
I didn’t know if he was still in town let alone single, but with some encouragement from friends I sent him a message. He was single and free that night and decided to come. That was scary and exciting all at the same time. He came to my house and wouldn’t look at me for about the first 20 minutes. I was sitting next to him, but he wouldn’t look at me. He’d talk to me while staring off into the distance, or talk to the other people in the room. I can’t blame him for that, it was probably a weird situation, but he was making it weirder. The night came to an end and everyone left. We didn’t go out again, but it was a pretty fun night.
When I think of blind dates I think of a birthday party I went to when I was about 14. I went to a birthday party for a blind girl in my ward. As soon as you entered the house a blind fold was put on and the rest of the party was spent in the dark. I think her mom video taped it so we could watch the party after. We played party games, ate cake, and got to know each other all while blind folded. At the end of the party we all took the blind folds off. It was so weird. I realized that I was about 4 years older than most of the girls there, but because I was blindfolded in my mind I pictured everyone else as being much older.
I also love this clip from the movie "When in Rome." It brings a whole new meaning to "blind date."
Sometimes it feels like being single is this disease that needs to be cured. Everyone acts like if you don’t get married before age 25 that there is absolutely no chance for you. I know people mean well, but they got to choose who they married, and we want that same chance. Everything works out in end.
One of my best friends gave me this quote in my Valentine’s Day card a few years ago. I laughed incredibly hard, and now it just makes me smile every time I read it.
“You have to walk carefully in the beginning of love; the running across fields into your lover's arms can only come later when you're sure they won't laugh if you trip.” –Jonathan Carroll
*All names have been changed.