Life! So many questions! I feel like a chicken running around with its head cut off. Sometimes, a lot of times, okay, actually most days lately I sit around and wonder what I should be doing with my life. What direction should I take? I timidly face one direction and move one foot forward and get shut down, so I return back to my same space. I turn the opposite direction and try the same thing, only to get the same answer.
While I was sick last weekend I had a lot of time to think and feel sorry for myself. I wanted to go be with people, but didn’t want to give them what I had. I decided that part of the reason I love being with people, is because everyone has a different perspective, and helps me open my eyes to seeing things in a different light. When I’m sick at home I’m not helping anyone. I decided to write to some old friends and surprise them with an unexpected message in their inbox on Facebook. No sooner had I made this decision than I myself got a message on Facebook.
The previous week I had sent a few songs to one of my friends who was struggling with something, and he was just getting back to me with what he’d thought of them. It had made a big difference to him. This was on Tuesday. Every single day since then I’ve somehow stopped to talk to more acquaintances than friends, and within minutes, all of them have opened up to me that they are struggling with the same things that I am. Most of their problems are even bigger than mine, and it’s humbling to realize that everyone is going through something.
I listened to an amazing BYU devotional by Scott Esplin earlier this week and it was just what I needed to hear. If you have ever been fearful, single, married, a parent, or gone to the principal's office, then this talk is for you! https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=hb3YHxZxgV4
There was a quote in it from Elder Maxwell that I really enjoyed.
Our perfect Father does not expect us to be perfect children yet. He had only one such Child. Meanwhile, therefore, sometimes with smudges on our cheeks, dirt on our hands, and shoes untied, stammeringly but smilingly we present God with a dandelion—as if it were an orchid or a rose! If for now the dandelion is the best we have to offer, He receives it, knowing what we may later place on the altar. It is good to remember how young we are spiritually.
I love that imagery. I had a mission companion who said a similar thing. She said that when she prays she pictures herself as a small child walking up to the Lord and pulling her hands out of her pockets and giving all she has to the Lord. That usually includes a half-eaten sucker, a potato bug, a marble, some dirt, and a penny. Then He smiles and accepts her offering because he knows that’s the best she can offer for now.
I really like what Elder Jeffery R. Holland had to say in his 2008 conference talk “The Ministry of Angels.”
“I have spoken here of heavenly help, of angels dispatched to bless us in time of need. But when we speak of those who are instruments in the hand of God, we are reminded that not all angels are from the other side of the veil. Some of them we walk with and talk with—here, now, every day. Some of them reside in our own neighborhoods. Some of them gave birth to us, and in my case, one of them consented to marry me. Indeed heaven never seems closer than when we see the love of God manifested in the kindness and devotion of people so good and so pure that angelic is the only word that comes to mind…
My beloved brothers and sisters, I testify of angels, both the heavenly and the mortal kind. In doing so I am testifying that God never leaves us alone, never leaves us unaided in the challenges that we face. “[N]or will he, so long as time shall last, or the earth shall stand, or there shall be one man [or woman or child] upon the face thereof to be saved." On occasions, global or personal, we may feel we are distanced from God, shut out from heaven, lost, alone in dark and dreary places. Often enough that distress can be of our own making, but even then the Father of us all is watching and assisting. And always there are those angels who come and go all around us, seen and unseen, known and unknown, mortal and immortal.”
While leaving work on Friday this song came on in the car and I had to pull over so I could Shazam it! Worth it! I loved the line “claim faith but waiver.” That is a familiar sentiment. Are we really having faith if we question every decision we make, and then turn around and fear that we’ve made the wrong decision? Natalie Grant says it best. Here she is!
Why wait for a miracle, when we you can be one?