Dating. That seems to be something that is on everyone’s mind recently. I’ve had countless conversations with countless people the last few weeks about it. They all have different questions. Recently a new one has surfaced, and that question is “Why?” “Why didn’t he call me again?” “Why didn’t we work out?” “Why did he not think I was good enough?” I don’t have an answer to any of those questions. I’m also probably the last person that should be giving dating advice, but I realized during a recent conversation, that most people haven’t lived my life, so they have a different outlook on dating.
I actually really surprised myself with some of the adult responses I was giving to my friends. I didn’t realize how strongly or passionately I felt about the subject until recently. A penny for my thoughts:
Sometimes I wonder why the little things are so important to me. Why I reiterate that chivalry is not dead! Tonight I may have figured that out. Some people may think that opening the door for someone on a date is archaic. Yes it’s awkward sometimes. The guy is racing around the car as fast as he can, while his date sits in silence waiting for him to open her door. However, it’s allowing someone to serve you. I’m very capable of opening my own door, but I feel special, adored, and loved every time someone willingly goes out of their way to be a gentleman. It’s the little things that add up.
I grew up in a house hold of all girls. We had to do the lawn mowing, the dish cleaning, the vacuuming, the unpacking, the lifting, the moving. That’s fine. I’m a capable healthy woman. However if someone wants to help me bring in things from the car, it’s amazing! It’s unexpected. I’m grateful. Those little things that so many people take for granted, surprise me and have me standing in awe every time.
I think every person male or female deserves to be loved. They deserve to know that they are special. I’m not even talking about like in the movies; I’m talking about every day normal life. I know that this doesn’t necessarily happen on the very first date, but if you’re in a serious relationship, it should be said. Each person should feel valued as an individual. Everyone should feel wanted, included, cherished. If someone doesn’t feel that way about you, they are not worth your time. You should feel that way about each other.
When I’m on a date I’m taking notice of all the little things, like how he treats the waiter and how he treats me. After a few dates I start thinking of things that could happen down the road, like if he’d get along with my family or is he a hard worker. After that I take into consideration how he handles money, roommate situations, his job, and things like that.
No matter what I’m constantly thinking about normal future situations like, if we got married and we had kids who got sick middle of the night. Will he get up to help take care of them? Would he be willing to give them a priesthood blessing in the middle of the night? Will he help clean up the mess? Or will all of these tasks fall upon me?
Maybe that’s an extreme example, but I grew up in a home with a single mother, and she did it alone every time. I don’t want to do it alone every time.
Maybe people don’t realize that people are thinking these kinds of things, or they’re not trying to impress those they date. I know that everyone has different things that they look for and expect or want out of dating and marriage.
So when I go out on a first date with a guy and he says, “I feel like I should get your door, but I don’t want to.” I take that in to consideration and put that into all different kinds of situations. Guys don’t have to always get my door, that’s fine, but it’s always nice and appreciated when they do.