Elysha's World

Elysha's World

Wednesday, February 3, 2016

Avalanche - To Love is To Be Vulnerable

It’s funny how we can read or listen to something many times, and never see or hear something until it’s pointed out to us. I love the song I posted above called “Avalanche.” I heard it for the first time maybe 2 years ago when my cousin sang it for a talent show, and I instantly fell in love with it. I looked it up and found that Lindsay Mendez sang it, and I’ve listened to this particular performance on repeat ever since! 

I feel like I’ve been trying to learn from and overcome certain things in my life recently and it’s really very hard. I’m constantly thinking about it, and I have no idea how to just let it go and move on with my life. I think I’ve come to terms with it in some aspect of my life, and then it creeps up in another part. It’s almost all too all-consuming sometimes. I feel like it’s a new side of me that I’d never recognized until someone pointed it out to me. However, now that I know about it, I can’t forget it. I can’t run away from it. I’m trying to change it, but it feels very innate and comfortable. 

I feel uncomfortable. I feel like I want to retreat and stay by myself for a while until I can overcome myself. By doing this, I’ve found that I’m not being true to a whole other side of myself. If you’ve never explored yourself, your mind, it’s amazing and scary all at the same time. You find out all of these wonderful qualities about yourself, and sometimes you find out things that you were blissfully unaware of. I feel like this song spells out what I’m trying to say.

The musical Next To Normal is one of my absolute favorite musicals. It's about a mother trying to deal with bipolar disorder. In this scene she is talking to her psychiatrist. My favorite line from this song is, "At times it does hurt to be healed." 

So how do we move on without having all of our annoying friends sing “Let it go" from Frozen? I have no idea. I’ve tried a few different things, and they don’t seem to be working, but I think I’m getting closer. Before I got into bed tonight, I wanted to listen to a song, and have it move me into feeling something. I’m not sure what I was looking for, but I’ve decided I need to put more of the 
music I enjoy back into my life. 

I opened up YouTube and saw “Avalanche.” I really just love everything about this song, and since it won’t stop snowing I thought it would be appropriate. I sat and listened to it, taking in every single note and word. At 4:02 I heard a new word that I’ve never heard before in this song. Instead of it saying “catch me” like it does a few minutes after it says, “teach me.” It says, “Teach me. I want to let go. Catch me. I’m letting go.” I had to look up the lyrics and double check. How had I not heard these lyrics, the millions of times I’ve listened to and shared this song?

This frightened person at the beginning of this song, is a completely different person by the end of the song. She’s transformed. She’s open. She’s learning. She’s excited. 

Facebook reminded me of this really cool quote I posted a few years ago today. I really like what this person had to say. 

Dean L. Larsen shared this thought in a BYU devotional, “The Lord has made it clear that each of us has a responsibility to exert an influence for good in the lives of those who share this mortal experience with us. We cannot live in isolation from others and still fulfill the purpose of our existence here. Our actions, our words, our thoughts, and our values will inevitably affect the souls of those whose lives brush against ours. In fact, the Lord himself has said that this influence may continue to reverberate long after we have departed, even to the ensuing generations (see Mosiah 13:13). This is an awesome prospect. When we contemplate the power we have for perpetrating both good and evil in the lives of others, we have good reason to reach for careful understating of this power. It is clear that we will be held responsible for making our influence felt. There is no safety or sanctuary in living passively or in avoiding contact with others. This is true for individuals as well as groups.” 

I found this quote very insightful. In fact it reminds me of two other quotes that I also love. 

“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.” –C.S. Lewis

I first heard this quote while in college and it changed my life. How are we to progress if we keep to ourselves? One can only change and learn so much by one’s self. Here is the last quote. It was given by President Lorenzo Snow. (No pun intended by his last name.) 

In a nut shell, we’re all trying to figure life out. We all problems, and as I’ve learned recently most people are suffering in a way we can only imagine. However, if we take what we know, and share it with those around us, perhaps together we can start to build and understand life a little bit better. 

As David Archuleta says, "Things are gonna get better!" 

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