Elysha's World

Elysha's World

Saturday, September 19, 2015

Don't Be So Hard To Catch

I’ve been thinking a lot about what I usually think a lot about: Dating. I try not to think about it, but it seems like the more I try not to think about it, the more I end up thinking about it. People who are in a committed relationship or married have all sorts of free advice to give out about dating. People who once were married, and no longer are, have plenty to say about relationships as well. 

The one thing I’ve figured out is that it’s definitely an individual thing. I’ve been known for having high standards when it comes to dating. Others have noted that my “list” is too long, I don’t try hard enough, or I don’t give people a chance. My personal favorite however is the title of this blog post, “Don’t be so hard to catch.” 

I’ve been thinking about this phrase for weeks! What does that even mean?  It kind of makes me feel like a fish. Does that mean I should grab onto the first hook that I see in the water? Another favorite is, “Maybe you’re setting your sights too high.” I know that all these people mean well, and I know they want what’s best for me. They want me to be as happy as they are. Phrases like that however don’t really help. 

I remember when I was in high school I had a really good friend of mine tell me, “Elysha, you need to stop being so good! You make it impossible for people to follow your example. We all fall short.” That one was really interesting.  Is being good so bad? Also, why are they comparing their dating life and history to mine? While in high school I went on a grand total of 8 dates. 

I’ve reevaluated my “list” many times. Sometimes I think everyone is right, and I should throw all my thoughts away and start over. However there are some things that top the list no matter what I do.

1. Being a man.
2. Being religious.
3. Educated / Hard working.
4. Family is important

I don’t think that those are that crazy. If that makes my goal impossible, then I’m destined to be single forever. Of course there are a few more things that I want in my future husband, and of course there is a difference between “Needs” and “Wants.” 

I’ve always liked this quote by President Ezra Taft Benson: 

“Now, brethren, do not expect perfection in your choice of a mate. Do not be so particular that you overlook her most important qualities of having a strong testimony, living the principles of the gospel, loving home, wanting to be a mother in Zion, and supporting you in your priesthood responsibilities.

Of course, she should be attractive to you....

And one good yardstick as to whether a person might be the right one for you is this: in her presence, do you think your noblest thoughts, do you aspire to your finest deeds, do you wish you were better than you are?”

I’ve had a few friends tell me to write down a list of all the things I’d like in a future spouse. Then they told me that I shouldn’t be looking for any quality on that list that I didn’t already possess (minus the being a man one).  I took that to heart and have tried to become everything that I’m looking for. That’s part of the reason I decided to serve an LDS mission.

Also, I didn’t want to send my children out on a mission if I’d never served one. Almost everything I do or have ever done I’ve thought, “Could I tell my children about this experience?” It’s kind of guided my life. Granted, most people would say that I’ve probably lived a pretty boring life. That might very possibly be true; however, I wouldn’t change a thing. 
So, from now on when people tell me that I need to “slow down” or “not be so hard to catch,” I think I’ll turn around and say, “Tell the boys to run faster!” 

1 comment:

  1. LOVE your closing line!!!! If he can't run fast enough, he doesn't deserve you! :-)