Elysha's World

Elysha's World

Tuesday, February 10, 2015

Dancing Through Life

Tonight did not turn out the way I planned. I thought maybe I’d go hang out with some friends, or watch a movie. I thought I’d spend some time catching up in my journal, write some poetry and maybe read my scriptures. (Not my usual Monday night, but sometimes it’s nice to just sit and think.) I was going to turn on some music before I started writing in my journal, but of course I always get distracted by Youtube.

 I’ve heard a lot about some Shia Labeouf music video, and I saw it on the home Youtube page, so I clicked on it. It was kind of bizarre, and I wasn’t sure where it was going to go. I really liked the contemporary dancing in it, and started reading the comments to try to understand the music video. Everyone had a different interpretation of it. I wasn’t sure if the girl dancing in it was Sia, or if it was just some little girl, so I clicked on the next video for “Chandelier.” 

That little girl, Maddie Ziegler, is an amazing dancer. I thought the choreography was beautiful, and showed a lot of emotion. I was born and raised a dancer, but I could never do half of the things she can do. I’ve never felt like I could portray all the emotion that dancing has the ability to show. I don't know if I couldn't, or if I wouldn't allow myself.  I’ve always thought that if I had to pick a dance style to express myself, I’d pick modern dance.  

 There was this movie that I watched as a little girl. It’s called, “I Wish I Were A Ballerina.” She explored all of the different kinds of dancing there were, and I would stand up and dance along. I’ve never taken a modern dance class, but I feel like I would like it. Then I would be weirded out by all of the other weird people in the class, and probably end up not liking it at all. 

When I was in high school I saw a really moving performance piece by a girl in my class to the song “So She Dances” by Josh Groban. It was a mix between modern/ballet dancing. It moved me. The way she glided and told a story/ painted a picture without saying anything at all. It was just her in a costume and a big empty stage. I don't know why I remember that moment so vividly, but she choreographed the dance and expressed herself while making a statement. It took my breath away. 

When I got to college I took a social dance class, and I learned to love to waltz to that song. Sometimes it's slow and you take little steps. Then the chorus comes and I'm moving around the dance floor in big steps while twirling around. It’s amazing how much you can feel/say without saying anything at all. Whether it be dancing, glancing, looking, staring, and looking down, anything really. I find body language fascinating, and I’m glad I got to study it a little bit in my major.  

I feel like I'm not accurately describing myself, so I thought I'd add this in here. I wrote it a few years ago to describe my elation when dancing. 

Living Out Loud

The rush of a movement
The thrill of a twirl
To dance all night long
Makes me one lucky girl

The laughter of loving
The squeal with a scare
Fright flees far from me
With doubt and despair

The colors collide
As the room disappears
While flipping and flying
So do my fears

I’m dropped and I’m caught
In one swift smooth motion
The thought of free falling
Is a fairly new notion

I careen on the dance floor
Yet glide in his arms
I give him my trust
That I won’t come to harm

I learn new steps
As I slither along
Every dance a new move
A new guy, a new song

My night is complete
Though my feet are now aching
My heart's in my hand
And it’s yours for the taking.

Elysha 7-1-10

Anyway, I started looking into who Sia was, because I’d heard the name before. When the new “Annie” movie came out, my roommate bought the CD and we listened to it a million times. This lady named Sia sang a few of the songs. She sang a great rendition of  "You're Never Fully Dressed Without a Smile."  and because of her voice I figured she was some black singer like Ciera or one of the Pussy Cat Dolls that I'd never heard of. I was wrong. She’s more like Megan Trainor with a great rich voice, but she’s definitely white, and she’s a song writer. She wrote the song “Titanium” and “Shine Bright Like a Diamond.” Who knew right? 

I found this really long interview with her and Howard Stern. She seems super chill, and I love seeing where peoples writing comes from, and why they write. I’ve always had a strange obsession with lyrics. I get them. I understand them. I can have a weird connection with the writer and what they’re trying to portray. Well, a lot of what Sia writes just kind of comes out and down on paper in 40 minutes. I found that really interesting. I like how open she is about her life, her past, and her future. She seems pretty real to me. Here is a link to the interview.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KnjLh39-Nhg (Disclaimer: It’s really long and does swear a little. I personally found it interesting, but it could potentially offend someone who listens to it. I found it very telling, and in all honesty I feel like I could sit down and have a great conversation with her.) 

I looked up the lyrics to “Chandelier” and the song made a lot more sense. I don’t drink. I never have, and I have my reasons for that. I have friends who drink, and they’re great. It’s made me think, however, what kind of a person I would be under the influence of alcohol. I’ve heard the way you act when you go “Under” for surgery is pretty telling as to what kind of a person you’d be when using drugs or alcohol. I’ve always pictured myself as a classy partier like Holly in “Breakfast at Tiffany’s.” However, I feel like I just know that I’d be like the lady laughing at herself in the mirror at the 2 minute mark. I think I’d be a hilarious at the beginning. Then the end would come and I’d be the same lady at the 2:30 minute mark crying to herself in the mirror. People tell me I'd be a light weight. I’d have a huge hangover and it wouldn’t be worth it in the end.

Anywho, it gave me a new respect for the “Chandelier” song. I also thought of another song that I feel would describe me if I drank. I’ve always liked the song “Sober” by Pink. Fun fact, Pink’s real name is Alecia. I’ve always loved the lyric, “I don't wanna be the girl who has to fill the silence.
The quiet scares me 'cause it screams the truth.” I feel like I’m constantly filling the silence in conversations. At least I used to. It’s kind of fun to see people squirm sometimes. I think it was this song that made me realize that there are a lot of things I like about myself, but there are something’s I’d like to change so that I’m not “that girl.” I also like the lyric,

 I don't wanna be the girl who laughs the loudest.
Or the girl who never wants to be alone.
I don't wanna be that call at 4 o'clock in the morning.
'Cos I'm the only one you know in the world that won't be home.”

It’s ironic that I got so much out of these two songs, when technically they don’t apply to my life at all. However, I think too much sometimes, so of course I found a way to relate to them. 


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