Elysha's World

Elysha's World

Wednesday, February 11, 2015

A Little Bit of Me

I’ve felt not quite like myself for the last little while. I wanted so badly to be with friends, and to feel understood that I went wandering. I didn’t completely deviate from my path, but I found myself in a lot of awkward conversations, wishing I could go back to the way things were. I always want to relive the past, or fast-forward into the future. I’m not very good at standing still and living in the present. 

I heard this song the other day, and I really like it. I first heard it on the Disney move “Ice Princess.” I actually really like that movie, with all the cheesy creativeness of Disney. What can I say? I’m a sucker for clean chick flicks. It came on my Pandora last night, and it made me think of the lyrics…okay, so they’re super cheesy, and anyone could write them, but I think I mostly just like this song for the chorus. “I don’t want to be, no one, but me.”

At the beginning of this year I didn’t have any New Year’s goals. I find that if I don’t make goals, then I don’t feel bad when I don’t reach them. I know, what a bad example. Write down goals! Reach new heights! Despite my efforts to not want to grow and progress, someone had other plans. On New Year’s Day I was getting ready for bed, when I had this deep desire to write something down. I didn’t know what, but I know the feeling, so I grabbed my writing notebook, that just happens to have the faces of all the Jonas brothers on it,  and started writing. This feeling has continued every day this year. 

I tried once, like 4 years ago to write every day in February, and I failed miserably. I got halfway through and it was too hard. So I’m amazing that it’s been 42 days, and I continue to write something new daily. I know that’s not huge to anyone else, but it is for me. There are not many things that I do daily. I put my notebook on my chair, and when I get ready to go to bed I pick it up and write something in it, and then I go to bed. A lot of the time I’m really tired, and It’s 1am, so I just write some SUPER lame Haiku, but I write none the less.

I have a friend who constantly asks me when he’ll get to see some of my new writings, because I always only post old writings.  So I wrote something today, and I’m posting on here, mostly just for him, but also because it feels good, and can apply to anyone and everyone.

I’ve felt a little
Out of whack
On the wrong road
A bit off track

I focused my fears
On things near by
On level ground
Not to the sky

I turned up my music
Way too loud
I blended in
Went with the crowd

I somehow found
I’d blurred the lines
I said a prayer
Now I’m just fine

This peacefulness
Is so consuming
I’ve found the light
With darkness looming

Is just a choice
So pick your team
And find your voice

In the end
I think you’ll find
Things become clear
Once you’ve made up your mind.
Elysha 2/11/15

So there you go. A little bit of me. Take from it what you will. I always love to see where people take things that other people have written. I like to write on a number of levels, so that anyone can read this and relate to it in some way. This is not the best thing I’ve written, but I wanted to #sharegoodness 

Also, today I filled out the last blank page in my binder, so it's time that I start a new one. Yay for new beginnings!  

So I guess it's only appropriate for me to add my other favorite song from "Ice Princess" at the end of this post. It's got a pretty good soundtrack. It's okay if you fall down or deviate from your path, as long as you get back on your feet and keep trying.


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