Elysha's World

Elysha's World

Sunday, April 27, 2014

Don't You Worry Child - See Heaven's Got A Plan For You!




There are certain things that “speak” to each of us. One of the things that moves me is music. I think that’s the way the Lord communicates with me the most.  That’s probably because I always have the radio or something else on. I think that was one of the hardest things about being on an LDS mission. I could no long sit down and watch movies at any point in the day to relax, and I wasn’t constantly plugged into my IPod.

 Around this time, two years ago, I was serving a mission for my church in Taiwan, and I started to get sick. It started out small, with leg cramps aka Charlie Horses every couple of nights. They were so bad that they’d wake me up, and I’d have to walk around our small apartment to get them to stop. After a few more months they were happening every night. On top of that I started having nightmares. I would wake up in the middle of the night terrified and wouldn’t be able to go back to sleep. I figured there was no reason for my companion and I to both be awake, so I would sit up against the wall and pray and think until I felt better. I had many lonely sleepless nights. While all that was going on, my stomach started to hurt. It didn’t seem to matter what I ate, at some point, my stomach would start to hurt, and I would feel nauseous. The only way I would start to feel better was if I could lie down, curl into the fetal position, and if possible sleep it off.

Click this link to read in more detail about what kind of pain I was having: Gallbladder Pain





I started having a few other symptoms, and after a week of non-stop fevers, and a few doctors’ visits, we decided it would be best for me to come home and try to figure out what was wrong with me. I came home 6 months early, and had complete culture shock. I had 24 hours’ notice that I was flying home, and didn’t have enough time to figure out all of my emotions connected with coming home, or say goodbye. I didn’t want to leave Taiwan and all of the wonderful people I’d met there. I didn’t know if I would be able to speak English correctly, now that I’d FINALLY picked up Mandarin Chinese well enough to not have someone translating it for me. However, whether I liked it or not, I was home, and I didn’t feel well.

I spent the first two months at home on my couch watching movies. I didn’t want to go outside, I didn’t want to see anyone, I was afraid to eat because I knew my stomach would start to hurt. I didn’t know what people thought of me, and while I craved love and attention from my friends, very few of them had served a mission, and so they didn’t quite understand what I was feeling. My mom was my angel! She would give me projects to do, and helped me make a T-shirt quilt with all my old high school T-shirts on it. 

 During this time there was a song that played frequently on the radio. I didn’t know the name of it, but it was catchy and I liked it. I thought that the chorus said, “Sierra has a plan for you.” So I always thought maybe the Pussy Cat dolls had become this non-profit organization that helped kids in Africa, and some other artist had written a song about them. Ha ha, What did I know? I hadn’t known what was going on in the media for the past year. 

One day I decided to look up the lyrics to this song. I’d had a rough day, and I had had another day of no energy and my stomach hurting. I looked up the lyrics, and then I started to cry. 

"Don't You Worry Child"
(feat. John Martin)

There was a time
I used to look into my father's eyes.
In a happy home
I was a king, I had a golden throne.
Those days are gone,
Now the memory's on the wall.
I hear the songs
From the places where I was born.

Upon a hill across a blue lake,
That's where I had my first heartbreak.
I still remember how it all changed.

My father said,
"Don't you worry, don't you worry, child.
See heaven's got a plan for you.
Don't you worry, don't you worry now."
Yeah!

"Don't you worry, don't you worry, child.
See heaven's got a plan for you.
Don't you worry, don't you worry now."
Yeah!

There was a time
I met a girl of a different kind.
We ruled the world,
I thought I'd never lose her out of sight.
We were so young,
I think of her now and then.
I still hear the songs
Reminding me of a friend.

Upon a hill across a blue lake,
That's where I had my first heartbreak.
I still remember how it all changed.

My father said,
"Don't you worry, don't you worry, child.
See heaven's got a plan for you.
Don't you worry, don't you worry now."
Yeah!

Oh, oh, oh!
Oh, oh, oh!

See heaven's got a plan for you
[Live version repetitions:]
See heaven's got a plan for you
See heaven's got a plan for you

"Don't you worry, don't you worry, child.
See heaven's got a plan for you.
Don't you worry, don't you worry now."
Yeah!

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh! [3x]
Yeah!

The part that really got me was the chorus. “Don’t you worry, don’t you worry, child. See heaven’s got a plan for you.” I was worried. I was scared. I felt alone. I felt upset at myself for not being able to complete my mission. I felt confused. I felt depressed. I couldn’t see the silver lining; I didn’t see how this would benefit me in the end. 

I realized really fast that I wasn’t alone in what I was feeling. 3 of my friends, including one of my old roommates had also come home. Two of them had similar symptoms to mine, and one with a different problem. I spent a lot of time talking to them, and I’m glad the Lord put them in my life. It was during this time that I realized that if I went through this really hard experience, that there were probably other people in the middle of the same experience, and maybe my story could help them feel not so alone. 

I kept going to the doctors and getting different tests done to try and figure out what was wrong with me. By this time I knew that I was supposed to be home, and that the Lord really did have a different plan for me, than I had for myself. There were so many tender mercies that happened, that I can’t deny it! Some people started thinking that it was all in my head, and that I was in fact crazy. Sometimes I felt crazy because I’d be fine for a little while, and then I would be in so much pain I’d have to sit down. 

I was at a bunko party with my mom and her friends one night, when I had a sharp pain in my back. It felt like I had a sore muscle/ knot in my back, but it couldn’t be rubbed out and was very painful to touch. It was by my shoulder blade. I mentioned this to my mom, and then we ate dinner and played the game. During the game, one of the ladies randomly started talking to my mom about how her dad last week was in severe pain for no reason. They took him to the hospital and found out it was his gallbladder and he had surgery the next day. My mom is a nurse, and the light bulb instantly went off in her brain, and she was pretty sure she knew what was wrong with me!

The next few weeks were filled with tests which all turned out to tell us nothing. They said all the tests showed that I was perfectly healthy. So we took our own tests. I went to a ward activity and had chicken cordon blue with sour cream, buttered rolls, cheese, mashed potatoes, and cheese cake. I went home and got ready for bed. About 1 in the morning the pain started. It hurt so bad that I had to go up to my mom’s room and she rubbed my back while I cried. Eating all those fatty foods, helped us figure out what was wrong with me. We also discovered it wasn’t my stomach that hurt, but a place right at the bottom of my ribs, right in the middle. This is where the gallbladder is.  

We went to the doctors the next day, and he felt around to see if it still hurt. When he pushed right there, I almost threw up it hurt so bad. So we scheduled an appointment the next day, and I went in and had my surgery. The doctor told me that it would probably be a healthy pink color, but we figured that if we took it out, and I was still in pain, at least we’d know that that wasn’t the problem. When the doctor came out of surgery he told my mom that we had been right. Everyone in the operating room was surprised when they pulled it out, because it did not look like the gallbladder of a healthy 22 year old. It was scarred and a different color. No wonder I had been in so much pain! 

It took me a few weeks to bounce back from my surgery. I felt a lot better after that, and tried to figure out what to do with my life. I graduated from college before my mission, and so I decided it was time for me to get a job. I was very blessed to have no repercussions from my surgery. A few weeks right after there were certain things like spicy food I couldn’t eat. But after a few weeks that went away, and I can eat whatever I want now! 

Now that I’ve gone through this experience I’m glad that I’ve had it, and I’ve learned a lot. Would I want to do it again? No. I don’t even want other people to go through it, but I know that they probably will. It helps to know that you’re not alone through the hard times. Even if it seems like you are, the Lord is always there; although, it’s nice to have someone here to talk to, or to give you a big hug every once in a while.  You’re not alone!

I also really like this version of “Don’t You Worry” byAnthem Lights. The reason I like this version as well as the original version, is because in the middle of this song they add the words. “You are loved. No mistake. You are perfectly made.” 

1 comment:

  1. I really, REALLY love this blog post. I can't believe I've never read it before!

    ReplyDelete